Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: What's the difference between a stamp and the wife of a t-rex?


Punch line: One's a female, the other is a mail fee.


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Joke: A Texan man orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, "Everybody drink! My wife just gave birth to a Texan boy. He weighs 30 pounds!" Everybody celebrates and is in awe of the baby's size.

A week later he goes to the same bar and orders some whiskey. The bartender gives him it and asks, "Aren't you that fella that had the 30 pound baby? How's he?"

The Texan replies, "Actually he's 25 pounds now."

The bartender asks him, "Wow, is everything okay?."

The Texan leans back and smugly replies, "We had him circumcised."


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Joke: Why doesn't Superman need a manager?


Punch line: He already has supervision.


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Joke: "Go!" is the shortest sentence in the English language. What's the longest?


Punch line: "I do."


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Joke: Why did the robot cross the road?


Punch line: Because it was programmed by the chicken!!!


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