Funny Jokes

Joke: A three-legged dog with a cowboy hat on walks into a old western saloon and says, "I'm lookin' for the fella that shot my paw."

Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are all talking about what their dreams were when they were kids. The brunette says, "I wanted to be a princess. I was so dumb."

The red head says, "I wanted to be a movie star. I was so crazy."

The blonde says, "I wanted to be the first person to travel around the sun, but I still haven't given up."

The brunette tells her, "If you came that close to the sun you would burn."

The blonde laughs at her, "That's why I would go at night!"

Joke: Student: Would you ever punish someone for something they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Student: Okay good, because my homework isn't done yet.

Joke: The FBI, the CIA and the LAPD all think they are the most efficient law enforcers, so they decide to have a contest. They release a squirrel into a forest and they all get a chance to catch it.

The CIA bugs the entire forest and gets animal informants. They then question all of the plants and mineral witnesses. But after four months, they conclude that the rabbit never existed.

Next the FBI comes in. After a couple of weeks they still have no leads so they burn the entire forest down killing everything, supposedly including the rabbit.

Finally, the LAPD comes in and comes out a week later with a bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Joke: A man gave his wife super glue instead of chap stick.

She still isn't talking to him.