Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."


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Joke: A faith healer visits a small town. During his healing session a man with crutches approaches him, "Ever since I was a boy I couldn't walk without these, can you heal me?"

The healer yells back, "All that believe will receive! Go behind the curtain."

Another man approaches him, "F-f-f-fix my st-st-st-stutter?"

The healer yells back, "All that believe will receive! Go behind the curtain."

The healer starts praying and yells, "Drop your crutches!" He continues to pray and yells, "Now tell us in a clear voice, how do you feel?"

The man replies, "The f-f-fucker f-f-fell on his f-f-f-f-face."


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Joke: What celebrity is great at creating probate documents?


Punch line: Will Smith.


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Joke: Where do people go after a peek-a-boo patients accident?


Punch line: The ICU.


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Joke: Have you seen the new movie Constipated?


Punch line: it hasn't come out yet >:-/


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