Dirty Jokes

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If you have a dirty mind, you may enjoy our selection of dirty jokes. Dirty jokes, to many, are the best kinds of jokes. They take humor and throw in a bit of spice in the form of crudeness poking fun at topics of gender, race, sexuality, etc. Hilarious dirty jokes are those that are able to take familiar circumstances, attitudes, or innapropriate content and poke fun at them with puns, play on words, or provide a twist to surprise the reader. Check out some of the best dirty jokes on the Web by perusing our dirty jokes section, because we take only the funniest of jokes that we and our users find and write. If you are too young or find dirty jokes offensive, please feel free to check out our clean jokes page.


 

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Joke: A kid comes home from school and tells his dad, "You have to go see my Math teacher."

His father asks why and the kid replies, "Well he asked me what 7 * 4 was and I said '28'. Then he asked what 4 * 7 was and I said, 'What's the fucking difference.'"

His father replies, "Indeed, what is the difference? Okay, I'll go."

The next day the boy comes home and asks, "Did you go to my school yet?"

The father replies, "Nope."

The boy says, "Well you have to see my Gym teacher too. Today I was in class and he told us to stand on our right leg for ten minutes. Then he told us to do the same with our left leg. So I asked him, 'Want me to stand on my cock next?'"

The dad replies, "Exactly, did he? I'll go soon."

The following day the boy comes home from school and says, "Don't bother going to my school. I got expelled."

His dad asks, "Why were you expelled?"

He replies, "Well they called me into the office and waiting for me was the math teacher, the gym teacher, and the science teacher."

"What the fuck was the science teacher there for?" His dad asked.

"That's what I said!"


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Joke: What's the difference between an erection and election?


Punch line: They sound kind of similar, but they are both a dick rising to power!


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Joke: A guy receives a text from his girlfriend, "Thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative?"

He replies, "What is ternative?"


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Joke: What did one tampon say to another?


Punch line: Nothing, they're both stuck up bitches.


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Joke: A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."


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