If you have a dirty mind, you may enjoy our selection of dirty jokes. Dirty jokes, to many, are the best kinds of jokes. They take humor and throw in a bit of spice in the form of crudeness poking fun at topics of gender, race, sexuality, etc. Hilarious dirty jokes are those that are able to take familiar circumstances, attitudes, or innapropriate content and poke fun at them with puns, play on words, or provide a twist to surprise the reader. Check out some of the best dirty jokes on the Web by perusing our dirty jokes section, because we take only the funniest of jokes that we and our users find and write. If you are too young or find dirty jokes offensive, please feel free to check out our clean jokes page.
Joke: A retired couple was working in their garden for a few hours one morning. It was getting close to lunch so the husband looked around for his wife. He finally spotted her bent over next to the barbecue. With out even thinking he blurted out, "Damn honey, your arse is almost as wide as the BBQ!" As soon as he said it, he knew he was in deep trouble. During lunch he expected her to say something to him but by the time they crawled into bed that night she still had not said a thing. He figured she had just let it pass, so he asked her if she wanted to have sex. She answered, "What? You expect me to fire up this big ole arse barbecue up for that small weenie? "
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Joke: Two college kids that have never tried drugs before decide they're going to buy some on a friday night. They get caught with them and spend the weekend in jail. On Monday morning they go before the judge. They have never been in trouble before and did not have a criminal record. The judge looks them both in the eyes and asks, So I suppose you boys are trying to make a career out of doing drugs now? NO, NO we're not! They both cried out. So the judge thinks about it for a second and then says, I'm going to cut you boys a break. Here's what I want you to do. I want you both to come back in 20 days. And in 20 days time between the two of you, I want you to have found 20 of your College friends that you have talked out of doing drugs and into staying in college. Can you do that? Yes, yes your Honor. They both reply. Then one of the boys asks, How are we supposed to do that? Well I've heard of a big circle little circle method the judge answered but you'll have to go online and figure that out yourselves. Come back and see me in 20 days.(the Judge's gavel comes smacking down) When they come back 20 days later the judge asked the first kid, So how did you do?He answers, (cont. in Punch line below)
Punch line: ( cont.) Your honor, I personally got 30 students to quit doing drugs and stay in school. The judge says that's Great! How did you do it? I did the big circle little circle method. First I drew the big circle and I told them, This is your brain before you do drugs. Then I drew the little circle and told them, This is your brain after you do drugs. That's when the other kid stood up yelling you did the wrong one. The judge looks at him and asks how many students did he get to quit doing drugs and stay in school? He answered, Your honor I personally got over 200 students to quit doing drugs and stay in school. The judge is ecstatic and says that's GREAT!!! How did you do it? The student explains that he did the big circle little circle method as well. Then he went on to explain that he drew the little circle first and told them, This is your butt hole before you go to prison, ....