Short Jokes

 

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Joke: A blonde woman has lived in Russia for many years. One day a government official comes to her and tells her, "Miss, quite a while back there was an error by a surveyor. You actually live in Ukraine."

The blonde replies, "Thank god! I don't think I could make it through one more Russian winter."


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Joke: Two chemists walk into a bar and the first one says, "I'll have some H2O."

The second says, "I'll have some water too. Why'd you say 'H2O'? We aren't at work."

The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.


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Joke: A kid from Texas is on the Yale campus for the very first time. He approaches a student and says, "Hey, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Yale student replies "At Yale, we don't end a sentence with a preposition." The kid says, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, jerk?"


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Joke: At first God created Adam but Adam was lonely. He asked God, "Can you give me somebody that will care for me, listen to me, love me, make me happy, and help me through tough situations?"

God replied, "Yeah, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam then asked, "What can I get for a rib?"


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Joke: A man went to the dentist because he was missing some teeth. The dentist asks him, "How exactly did this happen?"

He replies, "My wife's bread is as hard as a rock!"

The dentist says, "You could have said no to eating it."

The man replies, "I know, how do you think this happened?"


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