Short Jokes

Joke: A blonde is driving down the road and sees another blonde in the middle of a field in a rowboat paddling as hard as she can.

The blonde pulls over, runs to the edge of the field and yells "It's stupid people like you that give blondes a bad name! If I could swim I would come out there and beat you up!"

Joke: A little girl is digging a hole in her yard. Her neighbor looks over the fence and asks her what she's doing. She tells him, "I'm burying my goldfish."

The neighbor replies, "That's a mighty big hole for a little goldfish."

The little girl smiles at him and says, "Not if he's inside your cat."

Joke: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders 1/2 a beer, the third orders 1/4 a beer, etc. The bartender hands them two beers to share. The mathematicians say "Are we all supposed to share this?"

The bartender replies "Guys, you have to know your limits."

Joke: A man tells his wife, "The neighbors hate us."

His wife asks, "Why?"

He says, "Remember the time we were making marshmallows and the fire broke out down the road and everyone rushed over to check it out?"

His wife replies, "Yeah?"

The man says, "We were still holding the sticks."

Joke: Three priests are talking. The first one says, "I've tried everything, but I still can't get rid of our rats!"

The second one says, "I know! We've tried poison, traps, noise. Nothing works."

The third one says, "We baptized and confirmed all of our rats. Now they only show up at Easter and Christmas."