Good Jokes

Joke: One day I was walking across a bridge when I saw a man about to jump off. I immediately shouted to him, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why not?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious or not?"

"I am!"

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To this I replied, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

Joke: A priest was preparing a dying man for his voyage into the great beyond. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."

Joke: Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo's hiding.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Cows go!
Cows go who?
No, silly, cows go moo!

Joke: A man calls 911 because his wife is in labor. He yells, "My wife is in labor and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!"

The dispatcher asks, "Is this her first child?"

The man replies, "No, I'm her husband!"