Good Jokes

Joke: Four ladies are sitting together talking about their sons. The first one brags, "My son is is a bishop, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your excellence'."

The second lady brags, "My son is is a cardinal, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your eminence'."

The third lady brags, "My son is is the pope, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your holiness'."

The final lady says, "My son doesn't have a title, he weighs 500 pounds and is only 5 feet tall. But every time he walks into a room everybody says, 'Oh my god!'"

Joke: Yo mama so fat, when the doctor found out she had a rapidly progressing flesh eating bacteria, he told her not to worry about it.

Joke: Why did the bowling pins stop working?

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, if she was a scarecrow the corn would run away!

Joke: A mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant are all up for the same job. The board asks each of them the same section, "What is 100 + 200?"

The mathematician replies, "300."

The statistician replies, "300, with 95 % certainty."

The accountant says in a hushed voice, "What do you want it to be?" He gets the job.