Funny Jokes

Joke: A private is standing outside in the smoking area when he is approached by a young lieutenant, "Private, do you have change for a dollar?!"

The private replies, "I sure do pal."

The lieutenant yells back, "I am not your pal! You will address me as an officer and give me the respect I have earned maggot! Stand at attention and tell me again, do you have change for a dollar?"

The private, now standing perfectly erect says, "Sir, no sir!"

Joke: A drill sergeant is yelling at one of his cadets, "You hate me don't you maggot?!"

The cadet replies, "Sir, no sir!"

The sergeant yells back, "I bet you're gonna piss on my grave after I die, aren't you?"

The cadet yells back, "Sir, no sir! I'm never going to wait in lines again when I get back."

Joke: A deckhand approaches the pirate captain and tells him, "The cannons be ready, captain."

The captain replies, "Are."

Joke: What's better than seeing a woman wrestle?

Joke: What's the difference between sky divers and golfers?