Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde was taking helicopter lessons and she was finally ready to try it on her own. The instructor told her to radio him every 1000 feet to make sure everything was okay.

At 1000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine."

At 2000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine, just getting a little cold."

But before she reached 3000 feet the helicopter began to slowly come down. It crashed into the ground ruining the helicopter, but the blonde was fine. The instructor ran to her side to comfort her, "What happened?"

She replied, "I told you it was getting cold. So I shut off the giant fan."

Joke: Bill Gates was out fishing when his pole started to jiggle. He reels in the fish and the fish asks him, "Please don't eat me, can't you throw me back?"

Bill replies, "Woah, a talking fish! I was going to throw you back anyways."

The fish swims away then turns back, "Now that you let me go, how about a wish?"

Mr. Gates replies, "Okay, what do you want?"

Joke: Why can't you hear a psychiatrist in the bathroom?

Joke: A lady cop pulls over an old man and his wife. She asks the man for his license and registration. He asks his wife, "What did she say?"

His wife replies, "She asked for your license and registration dear." He hands the officer what she asked for.

The police woman then says, "Oh you're from New York? I used to have a lover from New York. But he was a terrible lover."

The man asks his wife, "What did she say?"

His wife replies, "She thinks she used to know you."

Joke: A cop is doing his regular patrol and sees a car parked in the lover's lane with the windows all steamy. He approaches the car and knocks on the window. "Can I help you officer?" the boy inside the car asks the officer.

The cop replies, "Uh, yeah. What are you guys doing out here so late?"

The boy replies, "I'm just reading a book. She's back there playing games on her phone, I think."

The cop asks him, "Son, have you been drinking?"

The boy replies, "No way, I'm only twenty."

The cop looks to the girl, "And how old is she?"

The guy checks him phone, "Sir, in ten minutes she will be eighteen."