Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: A woman had twin babies and fell asleep immediately after. A couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and asks the doctor "Where is my baby?!"

The doctor replies "They are both fine, you have a beautiful boy and girl. Your husband went back to work and you were out so long that your brother named them."

The woman looked concerned "Oh no. What did he name them?"

"He named the girl Denise," The doctor replies.

The woman, relieved "Well that's not so bad. What about the boy?"

"Denephew."


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Joke: What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?


Punch line: Run as fast as you can, she has a grenade in her mouth.


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Joke: What's the difference between sky divers and golfers?


Punch line: Golfers go whack, "Damn it!" Sky divers go, "Damn it!" Whack!


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By Taz

Joke: Teacher: kids, what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! now, what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon!! Teacher: Great job! and what does the fat cow give you? Kids: HOMEWORK!! :)


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Joke: A teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would rush into it, and I should turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir." the boys

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, my feet don't turn red from blood?"

Little Johnny shouted "It's because your feet aren't empty."


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