Funny Jokes

Joke: Pavlov is sitting in a bar when another patron rings the bell to get in. He gets up and says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.

Joke: A man is jogging down the road and he sees a boy eating a candy bar with a ton of wrappers sitting next to him. The man tells him "Kid, it isn't good for you to sit there all day eating candy bars."

The kid scowls at him and says "Hey mister, my grandpa is 98 years old and still walking around."

The jogger asks him "And he sits around eating candy all day?"

The boy replies "No, but he minds his own business."

Joke: What do you get when you mix your dad's red paint with his white paint?

Joke: A man runs into a hospital and yells, "Help! I'm shrinking!"

One of the nurses sits the man down, "We're very busy here today sir, you're going to have to be a little patient."

Joke: How many guys in the friend zone it take to screw in a light bulb?