Funny Jokes

Joke: Why did the man sleep in and miss the funeral?

Joke: "Go!" is the shortest sentence in the English language. What's the longest?

Joke: What is the difference between O.J. Simpson and Simba from the 'Lion King'?

Joke: A man called his child's doctor and said: “My son snatched my pen and swallowed it. What do i do?”, and the doctor said: “Until i can get there use a different pen.”

Joke: A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are called into the dean's office at a university. But the dean is called out of the office leaving the three researchers by themselves. Suddenly, a fire ignites in the wastepaper basket.

The physicist quickly says "I got this. All we have to do is lower the temperature of the material until it is below the ignition temperature."

The Chemist says "No, I've got a better idea. Lets take away the fire's oxygen supply so it doesn't have one of its reactants."

As they are arguing the statistician starts running around the room setting everything on fire. The other men yell at him "What are you doing?!"

He replies "I'm just trying to get an adequate sample size."