Funny Jokes

Joke: Anthony and Maria get married but they can't afford a honeymoon, so they end up going to Maria's parents house for their first night. The next morning Timmy, Maria's little brother, goes to the kitchen for breakfast and asks him mother, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "No! I don't want to know what you think. Go to school."

Timmy comes home for lunch and asks, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "No I do not, go back to school!"

Timmy comes home after school and asks his mother, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "Fine! What do you think?"

Timmy replies, "Last night Tony came into my room for some Vaseline, and I think I gave him super glue."

Joke: A man's penis is severed in a car accident. He is crushed but is awarded $90,000 in a lawsuit afterwards. But while he's at the doctor's office his doctor tells him there is a new surgery for penis reconstruction. He can get a new penis for $10,000 an inch. Extremely happy he says, "I have to talk to my wife! I'll be back tomorrow to tell you how long we want it!"

The next day the man returns and the doctor asks him how long he wants it. Dejected the man replies, "We're getting a new kitchen."

Joke: What do you call a gay dentist?

Joke: How many Freudian's does it take to change a light bulb?

Joke: An American, an Englishman, and a Mexican are in a hot air balloon. After being stranded for a few hours the Englishman drops a teabag out of the balloon and says, "We have too many of these in my country."

The Mexican than throws a borrito out of the balloon and says, "We have way too many of these in my country."

Then the American throws the Mexican out of the balloon. The Englishman asks him, "Why did you do that?!"

He replies, "He slept with my wife."