Funny Jokes

Joke: John got his girlfriend pregnant. Ever since then he has changed drastically. He has a new address, phone number, and name.

Joke: What is a job everybody can see themselves doing?

Joke: A man goes home and asks his wife, "If I won the lotto, what would you do?"

She replies, "I'd leave you and take half."

The man pulls out a ticket, "I just won $10. Here's five, now get out."

Joke: What does an evil kiss sound like?

Joke: A wife and her husband are at the dentist. The wife tells the dentist, "I don't have time for anesthesia, just hurry up and pull it."

The dentist replies, "You sure are a brave woman. Just show me which tooth it is and you'll be on your way."

The woman turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth honey."