Funny Jokes

Joke: A man and his wife are in front of a judge deciding who gets them. The wife tells the judge, "I'm their mother. I birthed them and I should get to raise them."

The judge then turns to the father and asks for his reasoning. The man thinks for a while and retorts, "If I put a $1.50 into a pop machine and a coke comes out, the does the machine get the coke?"

Joke: Two fish are in a tank and they see a cat. One fish yells to the other, "Fire!"

Joke: A new monk starts living at the main monk headquarters. He is in charge of the copying of holy texts. He notices that all of the monks are copying copies of their sacred texts. He goes to the head monk, "If there is an error in one of the copies, all of the subsequent copies will have the same error."

The head monk replies, "We have been doing it this way for centuries, but I understand your concern." So he heads to the cellar to check all of the main copies against the original texts.

Hours later no one has seen him and they begin to get worried. They send a monk to the cellar to check on him. He finds him sitting and weeping next to their main text. He asks the head monk, "What's wrong? What did you find?"

The head monk looks at him, "It says celebrate!"

Joke: What do you call a smart blonde?

Joke: It was a really hot day at the office because the air conditioning was down. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating.

All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled.

One man, popping his head out of his cubicle said, "Oh, man! Someone's deodorant isn't working!"

A man in the corner replied, "It can't be me... I'm not wearing any."