Funny Jokes

Joke: Three men were told by God, " If you step on a duck, you shall marry the ugliest woman. However, if you do not step on a duck, you shall marry the most beautiful woman in all the land." The three men accepted. The first man stepped on a duck from not paying attention. The second man accidentally stepped on a duck in his son's room. The third man never stepped on a duck yet he was married to an ugly woman. He exclaims to God, "I have not stepped on a duck, why is my wife ugly?" Why has God given him an ugly wife?

Joke: Person: What is your name? Whoareyou: Whoareyou. Person: My name is Dan. How about you? Whoareyou: My name is...... Whoaeyou! Person: I SAID MY NAME IS DAN! SAY IT, ARE YOU DEAF! Whoareyou: I am not deaf. My name is..... Whoareyou! Person: Silly man. ( leaves )

Joke: A golf club walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not?" asks the golf club.

"You'll be driving later" replies the bartender.

Joke: How do you wake Lady Gaga up in the morning?

Joke: What rock group has four men but no singer?