Funny Jokes

Joke: A little boy is out in the yard with his grandpa. The boy finds a worm and tells his grandpa, "Hey grandpa! Bet ya five bucks I can get the worm back into its hole."

The grandpa, knowing it is too limp to go back in the hole agrees. The boy runs into the house and comes out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is stiff and puts it easily back into its hole and looks to his grandpa, "Pay up!"

His grandpa hands him five dollars and heads inside with the hairspray. Thirty minutes later he comes back out and he hands the boy another five dollars.

The boy replies, "Grandpa, you already gave me the money. Don't you remember?"

His grandpa replies, "Yeah I know, that's from grandma."

Joke: A Texan man orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, "Everybody drink! My wife just gave birth to a Texan boy. He weighs 30 pounds!" Everybody celebrates and is in awe of the baby's size.

A week later he goes to the same bar and orders some whiskey. The bartender gives him it and asks, "Aren't you that fella that had the 30 pound baby? How's he?"

The Texan replies, "Actually he's 25 pounds now."

The bartender asks him, "Wow, is everything okay?."

The Texan leans back and smugly replies, "We had him circumcised."

Joke: What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

Joke: Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. One yells to the other, "How did you get to the other side!"

The other blonde replies "Don't ask me, you're the one on the other side."

Joke: What's the best part of working in the porn industry?