Funny Jokes

Joke: A man tells the lady that takes tickets at the airport, "Send one of my bags to New York, one to Denver, and one to Miami."

The lady replies, "We can't do that sir."

The man replies, "Sure you can, you did it just a week ago."

Joke: A deckhand approaches the pirate captain and tells him, "The cannons be ready, captain."

The captain replies, "Are."

Joke: You know what makes me smile?

Joke: The king of France is going to have a visit with Brock Obama. The king of France doesn't speak or understand English. He gets someone to help him practice his greeting. The translator says you will ask the president how are you? He will say fine, and you? Than you say me too. He practices until he think he has it memorized. When he see Brock Obama he ask: who are you? The president thinks and than says I'm president Brock Obama, and you? Than the king of France says me too.

Joke: A man's wife yells up the stairs to him, "The sun's finally come out!" He quickly throws shorts, flip flops, and a tank top on.

When he runs down stairs he sees his son holding his friend Tom's hand. The man's wife looks at him shocked, and says, "Oh God, not you too."