Funny Jokes

Joke: This is the story of how earrings became so popular for men:

John looked over at his coworker Tom. He noticed that he had an earring on one of his ears. Tom was usually a pretty conservative guy so John is curious. He approached Tom and asked him, "If you don't mind me asking, what's with the earring?"

Tom replied, "Don't worry about it, it's just an earring."

John let it go for a few minutes but then his curiosity peaked again, "So how long have you been wearing and earring?"

Tom replied, "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."

Joke: *Man rubs a genie's lamp*
Genie: I am a genie, I will grant any one wish you wish.
Man: Okay. I want infinite wishes!
Genie: Come on, you know the rules. You can't do that.
Man: Okay. Could you make it so I understand women?
Genie: Infinite wishes it is!

Joke: Student: Would you ever punish someone for something they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Student: Okay good, because my homework isn't done yet.

Joke: A man comes to the entrance of Heaven and is told, "You haven't done anything good, but you haven't done anything bad either. If you can tell me of something amazing you have done, I will let you in."

The man replies, "Well, one time I was driving down the road and I saw some gang members threatening a young lady in an alleyway. I stopped and confronted them. I walked up to the biggest looking dude and slapped him and said, 'You need to leave this young lady alone, or I'm going to kick your ass!'"

The man at the entrance to heaven asked him, "When did this happen?"

The guy replies, "About five minutes ago."

Joke: A blonde woman decides to start a handyman service to make some extra money. She walks around a wealthy neighborhood and walks up to the first house.

A man answers the door and she asks if there is anything she can do. He tells her "The porch need painted, how much would that cost?"

She replies "How does $50 sound?" He agrees and she gets to work.

When the man goes back into his house his wife asks him "Does she know the porch wraps around the house?" He tells her "She has to, she saw it."

About an hour later she comes to the door to collect her money. She says "I had extra paint so I put on two coats." The man is really impressed and gives her the money. She thanks him and says "And by the way, it's a BMW, not a porch."