Funny Jokes

 

26 ratings
2 saves

Joke: A mother and her son go to church and the son says "Mom, I have to go pee!"

The mom says "You shouldn't say that in church. From now on just say you have to whisper."

The next week when the boy's father takes him to church the boy says "Dad, I have to whisper."

The dad replies "Okay... Just whisper into my ear."


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46 ratings
11 saves

Joke: A man walks into a bar with his dog but the bartender says "You can't bring your dog into here!"

The man replies "but this is no ordinary dog. You see, this dog can talk. I'll prove it to you. What covers trees?"

The dog replies "Bark!"

He asks "What's on top of a house?"

The dog answers "Roof!"

Finally the man asks "Who's your favorite baseball player?"

The dog says "Ruth!" The bartender immediately throws them both out.

The man says "What was that guy's problem?"

The dog answers "Maybe he's not a fan of the Yankees."


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37 ratings
0 saves

Joke: A man walks into a bar with some jumper cables. The bartender looks at him and says, "You can get something to drink but don't try to start anything."


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8 ratings
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Joke: Girlfriend: What are you doing?
Mathematician: Just wrestling with these unknowns in bed.
Girlfriend: What?!
Mathematician: Yeah. Just a minute ago I was working out some models.
*Hangs up*
Mathematician: Oh you thought... Hello?


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57 ratings
10 saves

Joke: A police officer pulls over a car full of old women. He says "Mam, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."

She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"

Laughing the cop says "No man, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit." He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"

The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."


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