Funny Jokes

Joke: 1st Man: My wife eats like a bird. 2nd Man: Really! What do you mean? 1st Man: She eats worms.

Joke: Is google a male or female? Female because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making suggestions.

Joke: My friend thinks he’s smart. He says that onions were the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Joke: A man called his child's doctor and said: “My son snatched my pen and swallowed it. What do i do?”, and the doctor said: “Until i can get there use a different pen.”

Joke: A lady had a son, and she named him "Butt Itches". A few years later he had his first day of school. The teacher went around the room asking everyone to state their name...when it came round to "Butt Itches". The teacher asked "What is your name?" He replied "Butt Itches". At first she thought this was a joke so she decided asked again. "What Is your name?" He replied with the same answer, "...Butt Itches". The Teacher, who was now furious, asked once more and added, "If you don't tell me your name I'm going to spank you and send you to the principal." And again he replied with the same answer, "Butt Itches". The teacher spanked him and took him to the principal. Where he was asked three times what his name was, and all three times the reply was still, "Butt Itches". Then the principal also became furious and spanked Butt Itches, but the principal spanked Butt Itches too hard and he died. At the funeral his mom said, "Oh, my poor Butt Itches". And the preacher said "Well, scratch it."