Funny Jokes

Joke: A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Joke: Two men, Tom and Joe, have loved baseball more than anything their entire lives. One day Tom says to Joe, "If you die before me, promise me you'll come back and tell me if there is baseball in Heaven."

Joe agrees and makes Tom promise the same thing. About a week later Tom dies.

One night Joe wakes up to somebody calling his name. Scared, he asks, "Who's there?"

Suddenly Tom appears and says, "Hi Joe. I'm coming here from Heaven. I've got some good news and some bad news. I'll give you the good news first, there is baseball in heaven!"

Joe gets very excited, but then he asks, "What's the bad news?"

Tom looks at him grimly and says, "I looked at the lineup and you're pitching tomorrow."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Euripides!
Euripides who?
Euripides pants and I'm gonna be mad!

Joke: Two men are working on a telephone pole. A little old lady walks by and one of the men yell to her, "Hey lady, can you move that wire off of the sidewalk for us!"

She picks it up and moves it from the sidewalk. The second electrician says, "I told you it wasn't live."

Joke: Why was the student angry that he got points off his paper for formatting?