Funny Jokes

Joke: Two men are working on a telephone pole. A little old lady walks by and one of the men yell to her, "Hey lady, can you move that wire off of the sidewalk for us!"

She picks it up and moves it from the sidewalk. The second electrician says, "I told you it wasn't live."

Joke: Why was the student angry that he got points off his paper for formatting?

Joke: A devout Christian named Tom is on his deathbed. His pastor arrives and comes into his room. As soon as the pastor steps in Tom's condition worsens. The pastor quickly hands him a piece of paper to write one final message on. Tom quickly scribbles a message and shoves it back to the pastor. The pastor thinks it would be better if he waits to open the message so he puts it in his pocket. Tom dies.

At Tom's funeral the pastor decides to share his final note with everyone. He pulls it out and reads it aloud, "Asshole! Get off of my oxygen tube!"

Joke: What is the formula for ice?

Joke: Two brothers, Timmy and Tommy, are very mischievous so they are sent to a religious reform school.

Almost immediately Timmy gets in trouble and is sent to the principle's office. The large principle looks at Timmy and asks "Do you know where God is?" Timmy's eyes get large but he doesn't say a word. The principle asks again louder "Do you know where God is?!" Timmy suddenly runs out of the room screaming.

Tommy discovers his brother crying in the corner of their room and asks him "What's wrong?"

Timmy responds "They don't know where God is and they think I took him!"