Funny Jokes

Joke: What branch of government actually listens to the people?

Joke: Mrs. Smith is teaching her 3rd grade class and tells them, "Human beings are the only species that can stutter."

A little girl named Emily replies, "That's not true, my little kitty stuttered the other day. Our neighbor's dog jumped over the fence the other day and my kitty said, 'Ffffff! Ffffff! Ffffff!'."

Mrs. Smith asks, "How is that stuttering?"

Emily replies, "Before she could say 'fuck' the dog got her."

Joke: Why'd the chicken jump of the cliff?

Joke: A group full of very ugly people die in a bus accident. When they come to God he grants them all one last wish. The first person says "I wish I was beautiful!" God makes them beautiful. This goes on and all of the people wish to be beautiful until he gets to the last person. The last person is laughing historically and God asks him "Why are you laughing?" The man replies "I wish they were all ugly again."

Joke: What do you call it when fruit takes money from a bank?