Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man and his son are walking down the road and see two dogs humping in a lawn. The son asks his dad, "Why are they doing that?"

Thinking quickly, the father replies, "The dog on top hurt his paw so the other one is helping him walk."

The kid replies, "Figures... You try to help somebody and they just screw you."

Joke: What three words does no woman want to hear during sex?

Joke: A man and his wife go to an art gallery and they come to a piece entitled 'Summer.' It is a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her. The man's wife asks him "What do you think?"

He replies "I wish it was called Autumn."

Joke: Three woman are sitting and talking about the best soda pop based nicknames for their boyfriends. One girl says "My boyfriend is like 7-Up because he can keep it up all week."

The next girl says "Oh yeah? My boyfriend is like Mountain Dew because he can do me on top of my mountains any day."

The last woman says "You can call my boyfriend Jack Daniels."

Another girl protests "You have to compare him to a pop. That's a hard liquor."

The last girl replies with a wink "Exactly."

Joke: A man is making sweet love to his wife. He looks over to the doorway and sees that his son is watching. The boy runs off so the man tells his wife, "I should go talk to him."

The man goes to his son's room to find him nailing Grandma. The father yells, "What the hell?"

The boy replies, "Not so funny when it's your mom, now is it?"