Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man goes to an assassin because his wife is sleeping with his best friend. The assassin tells him, "It's going to cost you $1000 per bullet."

The man says, "What if you miss?"

The assassin replies, "I don't miss."

With this they head off to the motel where his wife is with his friend. The man says, "I want my wife shot in the head and I want you to blow my friends dick off."

The assassin takes aim and waits a few minutes, "Aren't you going to shoot?"

The assassin replies, "Hold up, I think I can save you $1000."

Joke: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

Joke: How do you circumcise a redneck?

Joke: Mrs. Smith asks her class, "What part of the body grows ten times larger when stimulated?"

The class is silent so the teacher asks them again. This time a little girl named Emily raises her hand, "Mrs. Smith, you shouldn't be asking seventh graders this kind of question. I'm going to tell my parents."

Mrs. Smith ignores her and calls on Jimmy. He answers, "The pupil in your eye."

Mrs. Smith replies, "Very good Jimmy," then she turns to Emily, "Now for you young lady, I have three things to tell you. First, you have a very dirty mind. Second, you didn't do your homework. Third, you are going to be very disappointed."

Joke: What's the best part of working in the porn industry?