Dirty Jokes

Joke: This little girl showers with her mother every day. One day, the curious girl asks her mother what that is between her mother's legs. She tells her it's her beaver. When the mother goes on vacation the girl stays with her grandmother and also showers with her. When the mother gets back and they are taking a shower, the girl says, "mommy I think grandma's beaver is dead". The mother asks her why she would ever say that and she tells her because its tongue is hanging out.

Joke: One morning a husband and wife are having sex and the wife says 'the Viagra is great! let me fix us a wholesome breakfast.' The husband says 'No, I'm not hungry after I take Viagra.'

Later that day, the wife says 'Honey, I want to do something nice for you, let me make you a big lunch.' The husband refuses once again, 'The Viagra just takes away all of my hunger.'

A long time after dinner she asks 'Are you hungry yet? I'll make you a steak dinner'. The husband continues to say he isn't hungry, 'The Viagra just kills my appetite.' But the wife firmly says 'I don't care. I'm getting something to eat, so get off of me!'

Joke: Three engineers are fighting over what kind of engineer God must be. The first one says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the joints!"

The second engineer says, "No! God must be a electrical engineer, look at the nervous system."

The final engineer says, "It's obvious he is a civil engineer, who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through prime recreational area?"

Joke: What did a saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

Joke: A blonde woman brings a letter to the Post Office. The man examines the letter and says it will be $500, surprised she exclaims, "I don't have that much money... I'll do ANYTHING to contact my mother."

He has the blonde follow him into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. She gets on her knees and brings it to her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"