Dirty Jokes

Joke: Mrs. Smith, a first grade teacher, is trying to teach her kids how to identify various animals. First is a cheetah so she tells them "This cat has lots of spots." One of the kids guesses "A cheetah!" Next is an elephant so she tells them "This animal is huge and has a trunk." One of the kids says "A elephant!" The final animal is a deer but she can't think of any clues. Finally she tells them "This is what your mommy might call your daddy." One of the kids says "Horny bastard!"

Joke: Why are rabbits silent when they have sex?

Joke: What did a saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

Joke: A blonde man and blonde woman are watching TV and they see that a particular tribe in Africa ties weights around their penis' to make them grow up to 24 inches long. The woman tells the husband that they should do it and he agrees.

The next day she asks him how it is going and he tells her "Half way there."

She asks him "It's 12 inches long?!"

He replies "Nope. But it's black."

Joke: A man and his wife are on their honeymoon. To show his dominance, the man takes off his pants and tells the woman, "Put on my pants."

She does but she says, "They're too big, they don't fit me."

He responds, "That's right, that's why I wear the pants in the relationship and always will."

The woman tells the man to put on her underwear. He tries but can't. He says, "I can't get into your panties."

She replies, "That's the way it's going to be unless you stop being an asshole."