Dirty Jokes

Joke: How do you circumcise a redneck?

Joke: A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"

A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"

Joke: A cop is doing his regular patrol and sees a car parked in the lover's lane with the windows all steamy. He approaches the car and knocks on the window. "Can I help you officer?" the boy inside the car asks the officer.

The cop replies, "Uh, yeah. What are you guys doing out here so late?"

The boy replies, "I'm just reading a book. She's back there playing games on her phone, I think."

The cop asks him, "Son, have you been drinking?"

The boy replies, "No way, I'm only twenty."

The cop looks to the girl, "And how old is she?"

The guy checks him phone, "Sir, in ten minutes she will be eighteen."

Joke: A man is making sweet love to his wife. He looks over to the doorway and sees that his son is watching. The boy runs off so the man tells his wife, "I should go talk to him."

The man goes to his son's room to find him nailing Grandma. The father yells, "What the hell?"

The boy replies, "Not so funny when it's your mom, now is it?"

Joke: A military captain approaches a prostitute and asks her, "Would you enjoy my company for $100?"

She replies, "Of course, a handsome military man like you."

The captain turns around, "COMPANY! FORWARD!"