Dirty Jokes

Joke: A girl walks up to her father and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

He looks at her and decides it's time. So he tells her about the birds and the bees, masturbation, sperm, pregnancy, and STD's. After a lengthy speech he asks her, "So what made you ask about sex?"

She replies, dumbfounded, "Mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of sex."

Joke: Little Timmy catches his parents having sex and his mom takes him back to his room. Timmy asks "Mommy, why were you bouncing on Daddy's stomach like that?"

She replies "Well... If I don't do that Daddy would get very fat."

Timmy laughs and his mother asks "What's so funny?"

Still giggling he says "That's not going to work, every time you're gone the babysitter just blows him back up."

Joke: A man is on a blind date with a girl named Marie. Things heat up a little and he asks her, "Would you object to sex?"

Marie tells him, a little embarrassed, "That's something I've never done."

With this he says, "Really? I've never had sex with a virgin."

Marie replies, "No silly. I never object."

Joke: A guy sleeps with a $5 hooker and gets crabs.

The next day he goes back to complain and the hooker laughs and says, "What did you expect for $5... lobster?"

Joke: Why did the semen cross the road?