Dirty Jokes

Joke: A guy goes to a whorehouse and when the prostitute sees his 20-inch penis she nearly faints. She tells him, "I'll touch it, lick it, and suck it; but I'm not putting it in me."

The guy walks over to the table and takes back his money saying, "No thanks, I can do all of that myself."

Joke: What did 'O' say to 'Q'?

Joke: A man went to the doctor because he could no longer get an erection. The doctor told him to bring his wife in. So the next day the man comes in with his wife. First, the doctor tells her, "Take off all of your clothes." So she does.

Next he tells her, "Now turn around... Okay, good. Now lie down." With this he pulls the man aside and tells him, "You are perfectly healthy. I didn't get a boner either."

Joke: Why did the mother tuck her son in?

Joke: A man goes to a restaurant and asks how much a coffee will be. The waiter responds, "A penny."

The man, surprised, then asks how much it is for a steak. The waiter responds, "A nickel."

The man who is now confused asks to see the owner, but the waiter informs him, "He is upstairs with my wife."

The man asks him what he is doing up there with his wife and the waiter responds, "The same thing I'm doing down here with his business."