Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: One day Tom sees Joe's wife naked sunbathing in their backyard. When Tom sees Joe he brags "I've seen your wife naked."

To get back at him Joe sneaks into Tom's yard the next night and sees his wife performing oral sex. Joe sees Tom a couple of days later and tells him "Guess what? I saw your wife giving you oral a couple of days ago."

Tom laughs and replies "Good try, I wasn't in town a couple of days ago!"


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Joke: Did you know that 9 out of 10 guys masturbate regularly?


Punch line: You don't want to know how the last guy does it...


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Joke: What is green and eats nuts?


Punch line: Syphilis.


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Joke: What's the difference between eating pussy and driving through fog?


Punch line: When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.


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Joke: One night a cab driver picks up a nun. The driver stares at the nun for a while and finally asks "Can I ask you a question sister?"

The nun replies "Yes my son."

"I've always had the fantasy of a nun performing oral sex on me. Could you help me with that?"

The nun replies "Only if you are unmarried and Catholic."

The cab driver excitedly responds "Yes! I'm both!" So the driver pulls into the nearest ally and lives his fantasy.

Shortly after he starts to cry and admits "I'm Jewish and I'm married... I'm so sorry sister."

The nun shrugs and says "It's fine. My real name is John and I'm heading to a Christmas party."


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