Dirty Jokes

Joke: A woman gets onto a bus and sits in front of a couple of Italian gentlemen. They talk very loudly but she ignores it. But a few minutes later she hears one of them say, "Emma comes first. Then I come. Then two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses come together again. I come again then pee twice. Then I come one last-a-time."

With this the lady turns around and says, "Excuse me! You perverts shouldn't be talking about sex on a bus."

One of them turns around and says, "Whose talking abouta sex? I'm justa teaching him how to spell 'Mississippi'."

Joke: How do you titillate an ocelot?

Joke: A man and his wife have been having some problems in bed so one day the woman tells her husband, "Maybe you should get some pills to help you out." He agrees.

When he gets home from work she asks him if he got the pills. He replies, "Yeah, here you go," and with this he throws her a bottle of diet pills.

Joke: Why do women wake up yawning?

Joke: The apostle Paul went to great lengths to spread the Gospel -- he even went so far as to open a sandwich shop in Greece to help get the message out. Can you guess what he named the shop?