Dirty Jokes

Joke: How are men like spiders?

Joke: How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Joke: A taxi driver picks up three drunk guys. He knows their drunk so he turns the car on, sits there for a second, and turns it off. Then he said "Here we are!"

The first guy hands him the money and the second guy thanks him. But the third guy slaps him hard on the face. The taxi driver is surprised he figured it out, but asks him "What the hell?"

The man replies "You need to slow down next time, you almost killed us."

Joke: Two priests are driving a white van when they get pulled over by a police officer. The officer tells them, "Sorry to pull you over, we're looking for a couple of child molesters."

The priests look at each other for a moment and the driver turns back to the police officer and says, "We'll do it!"

Joke: A man goes to a restaurant and is seated by an extremely hot waitress. When she asks him for his order he replies, "I'll have a quickie." The waitress storms off angry.

After she regains composure she comes back and asks him once again what he will have. He replies, "All I want is a quickie." She can't control herself this time so she slaps him.

A man sitting near him leans over and whispers, "Sir, I think it's pronounced 'Quiche'."