Dirty Jokes

Joke: Can a camel go longer without sex or water?

Joke: Little Timmy catches his parents having sex and his mom takes him back to his room. Timmy asks "Mommy, why were you bouncing on Daddy's stomach like that?"

She replies "Well... If I don't do that Daddy would get very fat."

Timmy laughs and his mother asks "What's so funny?"

Still giggling he says "That's not going to work, every time you're gone the babysitter just blows him back up."

Joke: A man walks into a bar and grabs a menu:

Hamburger $5

Beer $5

Handjob $5

A gorgeous waitress walks up to take his order and he asks her, "Are you the ones giving the handjobs?"

She licks her lips and replies, "Yes."

He puts a $5 bill on the table and says, "Well wash your hands, I want a burger!"

Joke: Micky Mouse wants to get a divorce from Minnie but the judge tells him, "I cannot let you divorce your wife."

Micky replies, "Why not?"

The judge tells him, "Because you cannot prove your claim that she is crazy."

Outraged, Micky yells at the judge, "I didn't say she was crazy! I said she was fucking Goofy!"

Joke: A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."