Dirty Jokes

Joke: Tom and Sally decided to have a little Sunday quickie but had to figure out what to do with their 10-year-old son since they lived in a small apartment. They cleverly sent him out on the balcony and had him report all of the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.

"Their kid is waving at me from their balcony."

Joke: A man is lying in bed with his new girlfriend after hours of lovemaking. She is playing with his balls. After a while he asks her, "Why are you playing with them?"

She replies, "Because I love them."

He asks, "But why?"

She replies, "I miss mine."

Joke: A guy goes to a whorehouse and when the prostitute sees his 20-inch penis she nearly faints. She tells him, "I'll touch it, lick it, and suck it; but I'm not putting it in me."

The guy walks over to the table and takes back his money saying, "No thanks, I can do all of that myself."

Joke: A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives it to her.

Joke: Mother's day is for moms and father's day for dads, but what do single guys get?