Dirty Jokes

Joke: Two nuns are taking a walk when they are attacked by vampires. One of the nuns yells "Sister Annie! Show them your cross!"

Sister Annie runs at the vampires and yells "Get the fuck out of here!"

Joke: A doctor specializing in circumcision retires after 30 years on the job. He kept all of the foreskins from all of the circumcisions he has ever performed. In remembrance of his career, he goes to a leathersmith and tells him to make something out of them.

A week later he presents the doctor with a wallet. The doctor asks him, "This is all you could make out of all of those foreskins?"

The leathersmith replies, "It's kinda cold in here. Stroke it a little and you'll have yourself a briefcase."

Joke: A businessman who recently acquired a latex factory in Mexico tells his friends of the unsanitary conditions:

"The workers put their hands into the melted latex then cool them in a vat of water. Once they're done they take them off and throw them into the finished pile."

The businessman's friends are disgusted and tell him he should do something about it.

"If you didn't like how they made the gloves, you definitely won't like how they make condoms!"

Joke: A man goes to church and tells the priest "Father, I almost cheated on my wife."

The priest asks him "How do you almost cheat on your wife?"

The man says "Well, me and the woman were naked but we just rubbed against each other."

The priest looks at him disgusted and says "Rubbing is the same as putting it in. Never do it again, say five Hail Mary's and put $100 in the donation pan."

The next time the priest sees the man he is infuriates "You didn't put $100 in the pan!"

The man looks at the priest disgusted and says "I rubbed the money against the pan, and rubbing is the same as putting it in."

Joke: What did the woman do when her husband admitted he was gay?