Dirty Jokes

Joke: Sometimes I think my family is racist. They caught me having sex with a black girl and none of the kids would talk to me. Then my wife told me to pack my bags and go.

Joke: Interviewer: What would you say was your greatest weakness?
Interviewee: Honesty.
Interviewer: I wouldn't call honesty a weakness.
Interviewee: Honestly, I don't give a fuck what you think.

Joke: One evening a man went into a bar. He was surprised to see a little man, 15 inches tall, playing a piano. So he asked the bartender, "Where did you find him?" The bartender held up a bottle and said, "If you rub the bottle, a genie will come out and grant you a wish."

So he said "Oh wow! May I try it?" The bartender replied "Sure, go ahead." As soon as the man rubbed the bottle the genie came out and said, "Your wish is my command."

The man wished for a million bucks. Immediately a million ducks appeared. The man asked, "What's wrong with this genie? I asked for a million bucks, not ducks!"

The bartender replied, "Do you really think I wished for a 15 inch pianist?"

Joke: Why did the prostitute jingle Santa's balls?

Joke: A man and his wife have been happily married for 50 years and are out golfing like they often do. As the husband is teeing off he confesses, "I have something terrible to tell you, but I really hope you forgive me. Right after we got married I cheated on you. It was only once and it was a huge mistake, I've regretted it ever since."

His wife replies as she steps up to the tee, "I accept that and I understand. I have something I need to tell you."

The husband replies, "Anything honey, I'm just happy you're so relaxed about my mistake."

She tells him, "About a year before I met you, I had a sex change operation. I used to be a man."

He is shocked, "You son of a gun... How could you? For all of these years you've been teeing off from the ladies tee box you cheater!"