Dirty Jokes

Joke: Little Kyle runs into his house one day and immediately confronts his dad, "Dad! I heard these kids at school talking about how awesome a vagina is. What is a vagina, what does it look like?"

The father answers "Well son, before you use it it looks like a beautiful flower."

Kyle asks "What about after you use it?"

The father smiles and asks "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

Joke: A man's wife is standing in front of a mirror naked and says "Look at me. I'm fat, wrinkly, and old. Is there anything still good about me honey?"

Her husband responds "You have great eyesight!"

Joke: Three swordsmen are competing to see who is the best in the world. The judges tell the first man to step up and they release a fly. With the flick of his wrist the fly hits the ground in two pieces. The crowd bursts into applause.

Next the judges tell the second man to step up and they release a fly. With two flicks of his wrist the fly hits the ground in four pieces. The crowd explodes in applause.

Finally, they tell the third swordsman to step up and release a fly. He swings wildly at the fly but the fly continues to buzz. The crowd begins to laugh and a judge informs him, "The fly is still alive..."

The man replies, "Yes, but he will never have kids again."

Joke: A man owns a very large farm. One night one of his employees tip him off that there are a bunch of women skinny dipping in his pond. He rushes to the pond with a bucket.

When he approaches the pond all of the young women go to the deep end. One of them yells at him, "We aren't getting out until you go away!"

He replies, "Oh I'm not here to see any of you naked, I just want to feed the alligator."

Joke: What's better than seeing a woman wrestle?