Dirty Jokes

Joke: Why was the old computer sad?

Joke: A man goes to a restaurant and asks how much a coffee will be. The waiter responds, "A penny."

The man, surprised, then asks how much it is for a steak. The waiter responds, "A nickel."

The man who is now confused asks to see the owner, but the waiter informs him, "He is upstairs with my wife."

The man asks him what he is doing up there with his wife and the waiter responds, "The same thing I'm doing down here with his business."

Joke: Son: Dad! I just went on a date with the neighbor's daughter Jane, and I think I love her!
Father: Oh no, I'm sorry I never told you son. She is my daughter. Don't tell your mother.
*A few weeks pass and the son goes out with another girl*
Son: Dad! Dad! I met an even hotter girl! I think I love her! It's the other neighbor's daughters Sally!
Father: Oh no, I'm sorry I never told you son. She is my daughter too. Don't tell your mother.
*This happened several times and finally the son goes to his mother in anger*
Son: Mom! Mom! I've fallen in love with twelve girls, but dad keeps telling me he's their father!
Mom: Don't worry about what he says, he's not your father.

Joke: A man accidentally sent a picture of his penis to everybody in his address book.

Not only did he feel stupid afterwords, it cost him 20 dollars in stamps!

Joke: How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?