Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, "Give it to me straight doc!"

The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male."

They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want HIV."


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Joke: What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?


Punch line: It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.


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Joke: A married couple is remodeling their home and getting new doors so the husband asks his wife to go get hinges. She goes to the hardware store, picks out the hinges, and pays for them. As she is leaving the clerk realizes that she didn't get a screw for the hinge and says "Hey! Do you want a screw for that hinge?"

She looks at him and says "No I got it, but I'll blow you for that coffee maker."


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Joke: Three men go to hell and they immediately meet the devil. He tells them, "Alright guys, you get to pick one of these three rooms to spend eternity in."

The devil opens up the first door revealing a room full of people standing on their heads on a hard wood floor. He opens up the next door to reveal a room full of people standing on their heads on a cement floor. Finally, he opens up the final door revealing a room full of people standing waist deep in shit drinking coffee.

All of the men choose door 3 because it is less crowded, you get to stand, and you get to drink coffee. As soon as they walk into the room the devil says, "Alright, coffee break's over. Back onto your heads!"


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Joke: What does yeast and a redneck have in common?


Punch line: They're both in bread.


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