Dirty Jokes

Joke: A woman is packing up and about to leaver her husband. When he asks her where she plans on going she says, "I'm going to Las Vegas, I can get $100 a blowjob there."

He laughs and replies, "Good luck living on $300 a year."

Joke: A teenage boy taught his mother how to use Google Images. He told her, "You can search for anything you want and it gives you pictures."

"So I could look up a delicious cream pie?" His mother offered.

"Anything except that."

Joke: A man walks up to a house and knocks on the door. A woman answers the door and the man yells "Do you have a vagina?" The woman slams the door in his face. He knocks again and asks the same question, this time she replies "Go away!" This continues for hours.

The woman tells her husband about this and he decides to stay home the next day. Sure enough they see the man coming to the door. The husband hides and his wife answers the door. The man yells "Do you have a vagina?" The woman answers yes. Then the man tells her "Does your husband know that? Maybe if he did he would stop using my wife's."

Joke: Two girls, one blonde and one brunette, are walking down the street and they see an attractive guy. They strike up a conversation with him and notice he has dandruff. After they part ways the brunette tells the blonde, "We should give him Head & Shoulders."

The blonde replies "How do you give shoulders?"

Joke: A man is walking down the street and sees a woman with extremely large boobs. As he is passing her he asks, "If I gave you $100 could I bite your boobs?"

She tells him to back off and continues on her way. Then he catches up to her and asks, "If I gave you $1,000 could I bite your boobs?"

Again she refuses and yells at him. But once again he catches up. This time he asks her, "If I gave you $10,000 could I bite your boobs?"

She decides that that is too much money to pass up, so she agrees. She takes off her shirt and bra. He fondles them and bounces them with his hands for a while until she asks, "Well aren't you going to bite them?"

He replies "No thanks, that's too expensive."