Joke #1117

Joke: Son: Dad! I just went on a date with the neighbor's daughter Jane, and I think I love her!
Father: Oh no, I'm sorry I never told you son. She is my daughter. Don't tell your mother.
*A few weeks pass and the son goes out with another girl*
Son: Dad! Dad! I met an even hotter girl! I think I love her! It's the other neighbor's daughters Sally!
Father: Oh no, I'm sorry I never told you son. She is my daughter too. Don't tell your mother.
*This happened several times and finally the son goes to his mother in anger*
Son: Mom! Mom! I've fallen in love with twelve girls, but dad keeps telling me he's their father!
Mom: Don't worry about what he says, he's not your father.

Joke: Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."

Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"

Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?

Joke: A little girl and boy are in a doctor's waiting room waiting for the doctor. The little girl starts to cry so the little boy asks her "What's wrong?"

The little girl responds "I have to get a blood test so they're going to cut open my finger."

The little boy's jaw drops and he says "Oh no! I'm getting a urine test."