Dirty Jokes

Joke: A little boy is out in the yard with his grandpa. The boy finds a worm and tells his grandpa, "Hey grandpa! Bet ya five bucks I can get the worm back into its hole."

The grandpa, knowing it is too limp to go back in the hole agrees. The boy runs into the house and comes out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is stiff and puts it easily back into its hole and looks to his grandpa, "Pay up!"

His grandpa hands him five dollars and heads inside with the hairspray. Thirty minutes later he comes back out and he hands the boy another five dollars.

The boy replies, "Grandpa, you already gave me the money. Don't you remember?"

His grandpa replies, "Yeah I know, that's from grandma."

Joke: A Texan man orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, "Everybody drink! My wife just gave birth to a Texan boy. He weighs 30 pounds!" Everybody celebrates and is in awe of the baby's size.

A week later he goes to the same bar and orders some whiskey. The bartender gives him it and asks, "Aren't you that fella that had the 30 pound baby? How's he?"

The Texan replies, "Actually he's 25 pounds now."

The bartender asks him, "Wow, is everything okay?."

The Texan leans back and smugly replies, "We had him circumcised."

Joke: What did one tampon say to another?

Joke: What's the best part of working in the porn industry?

Joke: A woman is golfing with a couple of her friends. On the first hole she sinks a twenty-foot putt. On her way to the second hole she gets stung by a bee. It is extremely painful so she runs off the course to find a doctor. She is extremely lucky and runs into one. He asks her, "Where did the bee sting you?"

She replies, "Between the first and second hole!"

He says, "Well first of all, your stance is way to wide."