Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."

The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your penis so I can enlarge it."

Joke: Three woman are sitting and talking about the best soda pop based nicknames for their boyfriends. One girl says "My boyfriend is like 7-Up because he can keep it up all week."

The next girl says "Oh yeah? My boyfriend is like Mountain Dew because he can do me on top of my mountains any day."

The last woman says "You can call my boyfriend Jack Daniels."

Another girl protests "You have to compare him to a pop. That's a hard liquor."

The last girl replies with a wink "Exactly."

Joke: Three pregnant women are discussing their babies and the first says "I know I'm going to have a boy, I'm always on the bottom when we have sex."

The second woman says "I'm definitely going to have a girl, I'm always on top."

The final woman eyes get wide as she says "If that's how it works I guess I'm having a doggy."

Joke: Tyler is watering his lawn when one of his old friends Connor happens to walk by. They get to talking and Tyler asks Connor "What have you been doing?"

Connor replies "I'm studying logic."

Tyler asks "What exactly is logic?"

Connor says "I'll give you an example. You have a dog, children, and you are heterosexual. Right?"

Tyler gets excited "Yeah! How did you know that?"

Connor answers "I noticed you had a dog house, and I noticed those bikes in your garage. So I knew you had kids and a dog. Since you have kids you are probably heterosexual."

A week later Tyler runs into another one of his friends, Chandler, and tells him of his encounter with Connor. Chandler asks him what logic is so Tyler asks "Do you have a dog?"

Chandler replies "No."

Tyler says "That means you're gay!"

Joke: Three girls go into the doctors office. The first takes off her shirt and the doctor notices that she has a blue 'Y' on her chest. He asks "How did you get that?"

She answers "Well my boyfriend goes to Yale and he leaves his Yale sweatshirt on even when we make love."

The next girl comes in and has a red 'H' on her chest. She explains "Well my boyfriend goes to Harvard and he leaves his sweatshirt on even when we make love."

The final girl comes in and has a 'W' on her chest. The doctor asks "Let me guess, you have a boyfriend that goes to Wisconsin?"

She answers "No, a girlfriend at Michigan. Why?"