Clean Jokes

Joke: It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."

Joke: Why was everybody extremely surprised when Sally failed her driving test?

Joke: A man's boat is going down in German waters. He radios for help. On the other end he hears, "Vat is vrong?!"

The man replies, "I'm sinking! I'm sinking!"

The radio shouts back, "Okay! Vat are you sinking about?"

Joke: Two gang members are strolling through the forest when one says, "It's actually pretty scary out here."

The other one replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone out here."

Joke: A man and his wife go to the doctor's office. After the doctor sees him he calls in his wife and she asks "Is my husband okay Doctor?"

The doctor replies "Well, he will be if you do everything I say. You have to prepare all of his meals for him every day. You also have to do all of his chores, never nag at him, and most importantly you must massage him three times a day. Do this for about a year and he will live."

Later in the car the husband asks his wife what the doctor said and she replies "He said you were going to die."