Joke: Why did the chemist hit the other chemist with a periodic table before their camping trip?
Punch line: To see if he could withstand the elements.
Joke: What did potassium say when he heard oxygen and magnesium went out on a date?
Punch line: OMg!
Joke: A student got sodium chlorite in his mouth and became very sick.
Punch line: But oxidants happen.
Joke: Why is gold such a thrifty element?
Punch line: It has a lot of free electrons.
Joke: What is every pirate's favorite amino acid?
Punch line: Arrrrrrrrrginine!
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