Chemistry Jokes

Joke: Two chemists walk into a bar and the first one says, "I'll have some H₂O."

The second says, "I'll have some water too. Why'd you say 'H₂O'? We aren't at work."

The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.

Joke: Do you want to hear a great joke about sodium?

Joke: Why is the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?

Joke: A kid takes a chemistry test, but in order to pass the class he has to get a perfect score on the test. He studied hard, but when he gets it back he got 1 question wrong. The question was "How many valence electrons does hydrogen have?" In a rush he answered "2".

Depressed, he walks home. But as he is walking he kicks a random lamp. He picks up the lamp and suddenly a genie flies out of it. He says "I will grant you one wish!"

The kid replies "I wish got that question right," and the universe explodes.

Joke: Gold and fluorine walk into a bar and fluorine starts reacting badly with some of the other people. The bartender gets mad and says "AU, get the F out of here!"